I’m going to start tagging all my posts with Robert Pattinson, then people will love me
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I wish people would stop using the word epic to describe things that are mildly interesting at best
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I think that maybe, for some people, crying a lot isn’t necessarily a sign that you’re sad. I think maybe crying is just something you have to do every now and then. Because sometimes the universe just suddenly starts to close in on you, and crying is the only way to put everything back in its proper place. I believe there is a surprising amount of power in tears.
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roses are red
violets are blue
sunflowers are yellow
i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts
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I have so much residue crap in my hair from years and years of not washing it and not having any sense of personal hygiene whatsoever. Even today, I go into these things where I’m supposed to be this sexy guy or whatever, and I’m literally asking, ‘If I get plumes of dandruff on me, can you just brush it off?’”
“I’m, like, a compulsive eater. I’m going to be so fat when I’m older, it’s ridiculous.”
“I have very, very low expenditures, but still I manage to spend it all. I guess Hot Pockets are more expensive than I thought.”
“My dad says he likes to bask in my glow.”
“My little cousin tells me I look like Magneto so I guess that’s who I should probably play.
— A collection of Robert Pattinson quotes, showing how very few fucks he gives.
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Nailzzzz
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Me: You're sneaky. Very sneaky.
Sam: Sneaky, clever, beautiful... you'll find I'm like a gazelle.
Me: Gazelles are sneaky?
Sam: They sneak right into a cheetah's belly.
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I guess it’s time to just accept it. I am never going to be any healthier than I am right now.
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Sam: oh lord.
I slept in bird shit
Me: HAHA.
Again?
Sam: I am natures wizard.
Me: Sam, you're gonna get histoplasmosis.
Sam: yes!
Me: It's not good!
Sam: I wanna be plasma!
Me: You won't be plasma!
You'll be blind!
Sam: oh
fuck
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baby toco toucan
(photo by ancassell)
GOOD LORD IS THIS NOT THE CUTEST THING YOU’VE EVER SEEN
OH MY GOODNESS
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We’re all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.
— Charles Bukowski (via gianthungdaddy)
(Source: newyorkcitylights)
